Oblivious: Renhai No. 208

by Vaughn Seward (vs) & John Daleiden (jd)

A dog barks
without interruption—
ants cross the road.       /jd

Two standing soldiers—       /vs
children play in the wreckage.       /jd

Gridlock traffic—
the bicycle we passed before
is now ahead.       /vs

in Renhai Studio

Archive Id: 208
Vaughn Seward: Canada
John Daleiden: USA
Written: December 15, 2009 - January 16, 2010

Theme: Unaffectedness
Season: Summer
Kigo: Ants
Verse Form: 2-3-2, 3-3, 2-3-2 (Rhythm)
Process: Forward

Links 1/2: Group (Ants / Children); Danger (Barking / Implied war zone)
Links 2/3: Children, playing / Bicycle riding; Standing / Gridlock.
Links 3/1: Traffic / Road.

Notes: Vaughn started this renhai from the Esperanto line "du starantaj soldatoj" (two standing soldiers) and John agreed to collaborate in English (Vaughn wrote his lines in Esperanto and translated John's lines into Esperanto). The Esperanto version: Senkonscia

         Seninterrompe
         bojas hundo—formikoj
         transpasas vojon.

         Du starantaj soldatoj —
         infanoj ludas en vrak'.

         Implika trafik'—
         la pasita biciklo
         nun preteras nin.

Copyright © 2007-2012 — Vaughn Seward & John Daleiden — All rights reserved